Home Daily Blitz Samsung’s Galaxy S8: ‘Bigger, Longer, Uncut!’
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Samsung’s Galaxy S8: ‘Bigger, Longer, Uncut!’

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The following is an excerpt from Randall C. Kennedy | April 3, 2017 | betanews.com |

I remember the time I accidentally stumbled upon a porn shoot in the San Fernando Valley, CA. The headliners were infamous wife-beater (and sliced manhood holder) John Wayne Bobbitt and some chick named Belladonna (Stevie Nicks dies a little inside every time I say that name).

As I recall, the title card on the set said something about "bigger, longer, uncut!" And that’s what I thought of when I first laid eyes on the Samsung Galaxy S8: "Damn, is that thing LONG!" And I don’t mean that in a positive, "you should be in porn, fella!" kind of way. I mean it as criticism -- as in, "it’s so long you’ll look stupid holding it up to your face!"

Stupidly long. That’s my first reaction to the Galaxy S8.

Yes, Samsung’s new flagship has lots of screen real-estate -- the byproduct of removing the iconic "pill" button that has adorned every one of the South Korean phone maker’s wares since the beginning of time. However, the awkward, 18-by-9 screen ratio has me pining for one of those cool future phablets you see on SyFy’s "The Expanse" series. Hey, smartphone gods: I want more horizontal space, not an even longer version of an already too-narrow interface!

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